you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
