her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
