Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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