My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
