They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
