Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
