I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
