Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
