Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
