So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
