no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
