She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
