He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
