the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
