i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
