I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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