He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
