Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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