Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
there is puke in my bra ... again
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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