We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
