I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
whose parrot is this?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
