I hate all girls vehemently.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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