What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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