No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
