talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
