Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize