I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The best revenge is premature balding
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
