remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
