You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize