My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she pinky promised me she was 18
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
