some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
