Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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