One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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