How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
