Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
