my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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