a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
