I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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