Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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