Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
