I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
