My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize