Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
