just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Do you still have your period?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
