Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
