Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
