pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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