my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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