Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
