no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My ass is underappreciated
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
