you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
