doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
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