my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
