I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
