yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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