Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
