I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
