i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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