Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
