Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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