Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i can't believe i had my finger in that
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
