i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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