I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
