White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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