It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize