I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
