so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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