Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sorry my hands just texted you
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
