yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
