i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just pee around me
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
