I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
