is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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