I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
