i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
