I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
