Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The uberlube is also flammable
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
