if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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