They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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