Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I smell stomach acid.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
